On Your Own Cocker

Hi, I’m Gemma.

For many years my life has revolved around caring for others. I spent 6 years caring for my mum who has alzheimer’s, and the last few weeks of my dads life caring for him, supporting them through illness, loss of independence, and eventually the final journey in their lives. Like many careers, I put much of my own life on hold without really realising it.

When my parents passed away, I found myself standing in a place I never expected to be. Alongside grief came probate, paperwork, funeral arrangements, difficult decisions, family dynamics, uncertainty and the challenge of learning how to live again after years of simply surviving.

This blog began as a way to make sense of that journey,

Here you’ll find honest reflections of grief, caring for aging parents, navigating probate, rebuilding after loss, and discovering who you are when the role of carer comes to an end.

I am not a solicitor, counsellor, or financial expert. I’m simply someone walking this path and sharing what I’ve learned along the way. My hope is that by being open about my experiences, others facing similar challenges will feel a little less alone.

When I’m not writing, you’ll usually find me with my children, spending time with my dogs in nature, exploring the outdoors, or dreaming about the next chapter of my life and all the possibilities it might hold.

If your grieving, caring for someone you love, dealing with probate, or trying to find your feet after loss, welcome.

You’re not walking this road alone.

Gemma x

A bedside table in a quiet bedroom, holding a small glass vase with a single white chrysanthemum, a partly burned beeswax candle, and a framed landscape photograph tilted slightly back against the wall. The bed beside it is neatly made with soft, muted linens in dove grey and pale blue. Cool, early-morning light filters through semi-opaque curtains, creating a tranquil, diffused illumination and soft shadows that emphasize the flower’s delicate petals. Captured at a close, eye-level angle with shallow depth of field, the focus rests on the flower and candle, while the headboard and wall art blur into the background. The mood is gentle, introspective, and quietly reverent, perfect for themes of remembrance and ongoing love after loss.

Finding Your Way Through Loss

I started On Your Own Cocker while caring for my dying parents and stumbling through the shock that followed. Here I share honest stories, gentle reflections, and practical guidance to help you feel less alone as you navigate your own grief.

Start here
An old-fashioned wooden writing desk with a slightly uneven surface, scattered with neatly stacked documents, a manila folder labeled “Probate,” a pair of reading glasses, and a brass desk lamp. A small ceramic dish holds a simple house key and a worn wedding band. Warm, late-afternoon light from a nearby window mixes with the lamp’s soft glow, creating layered highlights and long, contemplative shadows across the paperwork. The composition uses the rule of thirds, focusing on the probate folder and key in sharp detail while the edges fall into gentle blur. The mood is sober yet organized, conveying practical guidance amid grief, in a clean, realistic photographic style.
A neatly folded, soft grey knitted blanket resting on the corner of a well-worn leather armchair, a closed hardcover journal and a single fountain pen placed carefully on the adjacent wooden side table. A mug of herbal tea sits beside the journal, faint steam curling upward. The scene is set near a large window on an overcast afternoon, with diffused natural light casting gentle, even shadows and subtle highlights on the leather texture. The background is softly blurred bookshelves and a small plant, photographed at eye level with a shallow depth of field. The mood is calm, reflective, and quietly hopeful, captured in clean, photographic realism for a modern grief and healing blog.
A dining table made of light oak, partially set with mismatched but cherished ceramic plates, a single place setting left intentionally empty with just a folded linen napkin and a small, unlit candle. Around it, there are signs of everyday family life: a child’s drawing magneted to a nearby fridge in soft focus, a stack of unopened mail at the table’s edge. Late evening golden light pours through sheer curtains, casting warm tones and elongated, tender shadows. Shot from a slightly elevated angle, the empty place setting is centered, with a shallow depth of field isolating it gently. The atmosphere is bittersweet yet loving, rendered in natural, photographic realism.

Timeline

From the first difficult conversations with doctors to the quiet aftermath of funerals, these milestones trace how caregiving, loss, and rebuilding my life slowly shaped this blog into a companion for others walking similar paths.

View journey
A bedside table in a quiet bedroom, holding a small glass vase with a single white chrysanthemum, a partly burned beeswax candle, and a framed landscape photograph tilted slightly back against the wall. The bed beside it is neatly made with soft, muted linens in dove grey and pale blue. Cool, early-morning light filters through semi-opaque curtains, creating a tranquil, diffused illumination and soft shadows that emphasize the flower’s delicate petals. Captured at a close, eye-level angle with shallow depth of field, the focus rests on the flower and candle, while the headboard and wall art blur into the background. The mood is gentle, introspective, and quietly reverent, perfect for themes of remembrance and ongoing love after loss.